I remember when I would practice singing every single day. I couldn't afford lessons so I would teach myself. Practice techniques and see what teachers or other singers would do to help them vocally. I remember coming across Katherine McPhee and her strategy was every time she sang, she would sing with all her heart and imagine her singing that song purely for a specific person. I don't know, when I heard this song I could just feel it well inside me. (By the way, I'm actually listening to it while I'm making this blog post).
Anywho, the reason why I'm bringing this up is because it reminds me of my current situation with my heart. As you know, it has been quite the crazy ride. But honestly as much as a crazy ride it was, I'm thankful. Because I'm thankful that I learned a lot. Mainly with myself.
A few weeks ago, a classmate held an interview with me for his project at school. It was quite the eye opener because it was questions you actually don't really question yourself. A big one was, how are you different from one year ago? It stumped me really. But the answer actually came out pretty quickly which surprised myself, I told him, "I value myself way more now than I did before." And of course, he asked why.
Sure I was all peppy and happy on the outside, I was even in the best shape I've ever been physically but what I really truly discovered having me time was that last year I was sad. I was unhappy. I didn't feel like I was enough which made me not love myself. I lost confidence in myself. I didn't own up to it because I didn't believe it to be true, I didn't want to. I was "skinny" for the wrong reasons. I was in a relationship that I should've ended when I knew I was being mistreated but continued on. But now, I'm not as petite as I was before but I'm at a healthy standpoint not only fitness wise but mentally and emotionally as well. I love myself waaaaay more. I'm standing up for myself. I've done things I've been wanting to do for so long. I've been exerting positive vibes and it bounces back in return. With that outcome, I've enjoyed my life much more wholeheartedly. And as I told my friend that, not only did his jaw drop, but so did mine. Because that was the first time I've ever actually been honest with myself this past year.
As sucky as it was, I'm thankful for what I went through. Because without going through it, how would I discover who I am today. Like the cheesy line, how will you see the rainbow if you don't go through the storm?
And honestly every day has been an opportunity to grow and be a better person than I was before. But I also couldn't have done it without the people in my life. My family, friends. My ex's friend, Nadia, has been such a gem. And god forbid, I can't believe I'm saying this, but Krista too. Hearing her ask for my forgiveness was something I was not expecting at all. It was nice hearing her side and it was nice telling her my side as well. I'm glad we did have this talk because it was a chance to move on and at least bury everything. It also gave me peace of mind as well because I had confronted her before but was just not the right time to speak on her terms back then. So speaking to her finally confirmed my answers.
Anywho, BACK TO THE SUBJECT LOL Perfect. Not only is the melody perfect (see what I did there) but so are the lyrics.
It makes me think how people have their own type and such but I never really had a type. Because I really do believe when you come across somebody that you could be completely infatuated with, every imperfection of their's suddenly becomes perfect in every way to you. And when I hear 'Perfect' especially the verse,
"Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song, I have faith in what I see, Now I know I have met an angel in person and she looks perfect"
How someone can love you in your most vulnerable state. When your empty or even when your whole. And how the smallest thing about someone can make your heart flutter.
I've actually been asked by quite a few people what do look for in a guy? I tell them what I just wrote above. Of course, they still ask, BUT what if you had to choose what would it be? He would have to be my bestfriend.
