I just want to say how much I appreciate my family. No matter what decisions I've made they continuously support me and I'm forever thankful for them.
My boothangs
Saturday, January 18, 2020
I am just a big grateful mood right now. These people have impacted my life. Just a few here, missin' the boys. I don't even know how to describe how these people have lifted me through my darkest times. It's sad looking back at how depressed I was but these boothangs help me give me a boost when I really needed it. Even through all my hair color changes. HAHAHAHA
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New Year
Saturday, July 28, 2018
Oh man, didn't even realize that I haven't done a post since last year! I don't even know where to begin ... well first off, how have things been? Amazing. I've always said this over and over again, but I am so blessed for the loved ones in my life and also the people I have met that have really helped me on my journey with self growth and love. I have made some terrifying decisions that have made such monumental positive changes.
Just going to make a list of random stuffs of what's come up, what I've learnt, what's happenin', and whatever shenanigans I remember that's happened so far this year.
One little piece of advice my coworker gave me was, "1, 2, 3, go." I had a talk with her about how I struggled hitting the gym at one point. In a sense, I lost my passion of working out. And she mentioned that tip because I told her how much I loved the feeling I got afterwards, it was starting that was the struggle. And not only did I apply it when I lost motivation but I applied it in my daily life. In retrospect, I've been lifting a lot more and I'm super proud of myself because I've been able to lift a higher amount of weight than I have ever had before.
But now every time I come across something I feel like I'm struggling with, that I lack confidence with but I know in my heart I will absolutely kill it ... I tell myself "1, 2, 3, go."
Something that has been really important to me has been the obstacle races, for the first time I'll be running 5! Pretty insane. I'll be doing X-Warrior, Foam Fest, Spartan, Rugged Maniac, and Mud Hero. I knew I would be doing them for fun but it wasn't till this year when I did Spartan that I found the significance of doing these obstacle races. Spartan tested me emotionally and physically. Spartan was the first competitive race that I've ever done and as brutal as it was (especially for the fact that it was in BC, so hello mountain top) it was EXACTLY what I needed. With everything that I've gone through the past year, I wanted to know how far could I push myself. What were my limits, strengths, and weaknesses. Out of 22 obstacles I only missed 3 - totalling 90 burpees that I had to do. But the obstacles I was extremely proud of conquering was the rope climb, 7ft wall, and inverted wall. Because I was in the competitive heat, no one could help me, I could only help myself. After completing the sprint, I legit felt like a beast. Aside from Spartan though, I had not only good company but good vibes throughout. I was surrounded by people who continuously lift each other up and who support me. The few days I spent away was filled with endless laughter and memories I will cherish forever. Few highlights of the trip:
I was absolutely clueless but Alex and Daryll planned the sweetest surprise at work. As per usual, I was working with Daryll and we were wiping the windows and cleaning party rooms. All of a sudden she's like i'll be right back, and i'm like okie dokies. She comes back and is all like, "Sam needs to talk to us". And I'm like "It's because its slow isn't it? LOL". I walk into the staffroom and it's pitch black, but the reason why this was normal to me was because I knew one of the staff members who was working that day, legit, shuts off the lights and wraps himself in his jacket in the darkness every time he goes on break. But anywho, I walk in, there's a cake lit up, and a few of my coworkers are there including Sam, John, and Alex, and they all start singing Happy Birthday. I was completely blown away. I started tearing up. And on top of all that, I was just shocked to see Alex there because he wasn't working, he ordered the cake, and he came up for this surprise. (For the fact that he lives far too) For me, it's the small things that make my heart melt and ... IT WAS DISNEY. It honestly was the simplest sweetest surprise ever.
One thing for sure is, I've been feeling a lot more beautiful and confident inside and out. Waaaaaaaaaaaaay better than I was about 2 years ago. And I'm happy to say I'm finally at state of mind where I'm at peace. Every day is an opportunity to learn and grow for every day is gift.
Just going to make a list of random stuffs of what's come up, what I've learnt, what's happenin', and whatever shenanigans I remember that's happened so far this year.
One little piece of advice my coworker gave me was, "1, 2, 3, go." I had a talk with her about how I struggled hitting the gym at one point. In a sense, I lost my passion of working out. And she mentioned that tip because I told her how much I loved the feeling I got afterwards, it was starting that was the struggle. And not only did I apply it when I lost motivation but I applied it in my daily life. In retrospect, I've been lifting a lot more and I'm super proud of myself because I've been able to lift a higher amount of weight than I have ever had before.
But now every time I come across something I feel like I'm struggling with, that I lack confidence with but I know in my heart I will absolutely kill it ... I tell myself "1, 2, 3, go."
Another huge accomplishment ... our bowling team "Alley Cats" made 1st place! Super happy. We were so close last year and finally to make it first was awesome! I honestly had no idea I would be loving bowling so much. The funny part is people tell me that my form is really good for someone's who just started which makes me feel pretty good! I also started off with a 120 average and now I'm at 160! Whoop whoop! :D
Something that has been really important to me has been the obstacle races, for the first time I'll be running 5! Pretty insane. I'll be doing X-Warrior, Foam Fest, Spartan, Rugged Maniac, and Mud Hero. I knew I would be doing them for fun but it wasn't till this year when I did Spartan that I found the significance of doing these obstacle races. Spartan tested me emotionally and physically. Spartan was the first competitive race that I've ever done and as brutal as it was (especially for the fact that it was in BC, so hello mountain top) it was EXACTLY what I needed. With everything that I've gone through the past year, I wanted to know how far could I push myself. What were my limits, strengths, and weaknesses. Out of 22 obstacles I only missed 3 - totalling 90 burpees that I had to do. But the obstacles I was extremely proud of conquering was the rope climb, 7ft wall, and inverted wall. Because I was in the competitive heat, no one could help me, I could only help myself. After completing the sprint, I legit felt like a beast. Aside from Spartan though, I had not only good company but good vibes throughout. I was surrounded by people who continuously lift each other up and who support me. The few days I spent away was filled with endless laughter and memories I will cherish forever. Few highlights of the trip:
- Roadtrip song battle! It went down when Alex played "Everytime We Touch" - that was pure gold. But some of the best of the best were played, I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles), Wannabe, Pokemon Theme Song, and Hollaback Girl.
- Glamping at its finest
- Having a mini reading session/book club under the stars
- Spartan Race
- Artisan Chocolates
- $16 ALL YOU CAN EAT SUSHI #NOMNOM
- Radium Hot Springs
- Engulfing myself in nature
I was absolutely clueless but Alex and Daryll planned the sweetest surprise at work. As per usual, I was working with Daryll and we were wiping the windows and cleaning party rooms. All of a sudden she's like i'll be right back, and i'm like okie dokies. She comes back and is all like, "Sam needs to talk to us". And I'm like "It's because its slow isn't it? LOL". I walk into the staffroom and it's pitch black, but the reason why this was normal to me was because I knew one of the staff members who was working that day, legit, shuts off the lights and wraps himself in his jacket in the darkness every time he goes on break. But anywho, I walk in, there's a cake lit up, and a few of my coworkers are there including Sam, John, and Alex, and they all start singing Happy Birthday. I was completely blown away. I started tearing up. And on top of all that, I was just shocked to see Alex there because he wasn't working, he ordered the cake, and he came up for this surprise. (For the fact that he lives far too) For me, it's the small things that make my heart melt and ... IT WAS DISNEY. It honestly was the simplest sweetest surprise ever.
Started a bookstagram account! Well actually it's a mix of being a bookstagram/spam account of my adventures. For one wanted to separate it from my personal account. Second, wanted to express my love for reading. So happy I've been able to take time time to myself and really engulf myself in such amazing books. HANDS DOWN, ALL TIME FAVORITE SERIES A COURT OF THORNS AND ROSES. More like #courtofthornsandfeels The characters, the plot, the twists and turns, everything. Gah, and RHYSAND. Can someone bring me my Rhysand?
One thing for sure is, I've been feeling a lot more beautiful and confident inside and out. Waaaaaaaaaaaaay better than I was about 2 years ago. And I'm happy to say I'm finally at state of mind where I'm at peace. Every day is an opportunity to learn and grow for every day is gift.
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Perfect
Saturday, December 2, 2017
Perfect by Ed Sheeran has been on replay lately constantly. Don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful version but there is one cover done by Leroy Sanchez that is absolutely wonderful. I can't help but put my headphones, put the volume all the way up and just close my eyes.
I remember when I would practice singing every single day. I couldn't afford lessons so I would teach myself. Practice techniques and see what teachers or other singers would do to help them vocally. I remember coming across Katherine McPhee and her strategy was every time she sang, she would sing with all her heart and imagine her singing that song purely for a specific person. I don't know, when I heard this song I could just feel it well inside me. (By the way, I'm actually listening to it while I'm making this blog post).
Anywho, the reason why I'm bringing this up is because it reminds me of my current situation with my heart. As you know, it has been quite the crazy ride. But honestly as much as a crazy ride it was, I'm thankful. Because I'm thankful that I learned a lot. Mainly with myself.
A few weeks ago, a classmate held an interview with me for his project at school. It was quite the eye opener because it was questions you actually don't really question yourself. A big one was, how are you different from one year ago? It stumped me really. But the answer actually came out pretty quickly which surprised myself, I told him, "I value myself way more now than I did before." And of course, he asked why.
Sure I was all peppy and happy on the outside, I was even in the best shape I've ever been physically but what I really truly discovered having me time was that last year I was sad. I was unhappy. I didn't feel like I was enough which made me not love myself. I lost confidence in myself. I didn't own up to it because I didn't believe it to be true, I didn't want to. I was "skinny" for the wrong reasons. I was in a relationship that I should've ended when I knew I was being mistreated but continued on. But now, I'm not as petite as I was before but I'm at a healthy standpoint not only fitness wise but mentally and emotionally as well. I love myself waaaaay more. I'm standing up for myself. I've done things I've been wanting to do for so long. I've been exerting positive vibes and it bounces back in return. With that outcome, I've enjoyed my life much more wholeheartedly. And as I told my friend that, not only did his jaw drop, but so did mine. Because that was the first time I've ever actually been honest with myself this past year.
As sucky as it was, I'm thankful for what I went through. Because without going through it, how would I discover who I am today. Like the cheesy line, how will you see the rainbow if you don't go through the storm?
And honestly every day has been an opportunity to grow and be a better person than I was before. But I also couldn't have done it without the people in my life. My family, friends. My ex's friend, Nadia, has been such a gem. And god forbid, I can't believe I'm saying this, but Krista too. Hearing her ask for my forgiveness was something I was not expecting at all. It was nice hearing her side and it was nice telling her my side as well. I'm glad we did have this talk because it was a chance to move on and at least bury everything. It also gave me peace of mind as well because I had confronted her before but was just not the right time to speak on her terms back then. So speaking to her finally confirmed my answers.
Anywho, BACK TO THE SUBJECT LOL Perfect. Not only is the melody perfect (see what I did there) but so are the lyrics.
It makes me think how people have their own type and such but I never really had a type. Because I really do believe when you come across somebody that you could be completely infatuated with, every imperfection of their's suddenly becomes perfect in every way to you. And when I hear 'Perfect' especially the verse,
I remember when I would practice singing every single day. I couldn't afford lessons so I would teach myself. Practice techniques and see what teachers or other singers would do to help them vocally. I remember coming across Katherine McPhee and her strategy was every time she sang, she would sing with all her heart and imagine her singing that song purely for a specific person. I don't know, when I heard this song I could just feel it well inside me. (By the way, I'm actually listening to it while I'm making this blog post).
Anywho, the reason why I'm bringing this up is because it reminds me of my current situation with my heart. As you know, it has been quite the crazy ride. But honestly as much as a crazy ride it was, I'm thankful. Because I'm thankful that I learned a lot. Mainly with myself.
A few weeks ago, a classmate held an interview with me for his project at school. It was quite the eye opener because it was questions you actually don't really question yourself. A big one was, how are you different from one year ago? It stumped me really. But the answer actually came out pretty quickly which surprised myself, I told him, "I value myself way more now than I did before." And of course, he asked why.
Sure I was all peppy and happy on the outside, I was even in the best shape I've ever been physically but what I really truly discovered having me time was that last year I was sad. I was unhappy. I didn't feel like I was enough which made me not love myself. I lost confidence in myself. I didn't own up to it because I didn't believe it to be true, I didn't want to. I was "skinny" for the wrong reasons. I was in a relationship that I should've ended when I knew I was being mistreated but continued on. But now, I'm not as petite as I was before but I'm at a healthy standpoint not only fitness wise but mentally and emotionally as well. I love myself waaaaay more. I'm standing up for myself. I've done things I've been wanting to do for so long. I've been exerting positive vibes and it bounces back in return. With that outcome, I've enjoyed my life much more wholeheartedly. And as I told my friend that, not only did his jaw drop, but so did mine. Because that was the first time I've ever actually been honest with myself this past year.
As sucky as it was, I'm thankful for what I went through. Because without going through it, how would I discover who I am today. Like the cheesy line, how will you see the rainbow if you don't go through the storm?
And honestly every day has been an opportunity to grow and be a better person than I was before. But I also couldn't have done it without the people in my life. My family, friends. My ex's friend, Nadia, has been such a gem. And god forbid, I can't believe I'm saying this, but Krista too. Hearing her ask for my forgiveness was something I was not expecting at all. It was nice hearing her side and it was nice telling her my side as well. I'm glad we did have this talk because it was a chance to move on and at least bury everything. It also gave me peace of mind as well because I had confronted her before but was just not the right time to speak on her terms back then. So speaking to her finally confirmed my answers.
Anywho, BACK TO THE SUBJECT LOL Perfect. Not only is the melody perfect (see what I did there) but so are the lyrics.
It makes me think how people have their own type and such but I never really had a type. Because I really do believe when you come across somebody that you could be completely infatuated with, every imperfection of their's suddenly becomes perfect in every way to you. And when I hear 'Perfect' especially the verse,
"Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song, I have faith in what I see, Now I know I have met an angel in person and she looks perfect"
How someone can love you in your most vulnerable state. When your empty or even when your whole. And how the smallest thing about someone can make your heart flutter.
I've actually been asked by quite a few people what do look for in a guy? I tell them what I just wrote above. Of course, they still ask, BUT what if you had to choose what would it be? He would have to be my bestfriend.
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Look at them boys!
One, it's the cast of stranger things.
Two, they sang 'My Girl'. MY FREAKING HEART.
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Christmas Playlist ♡
Christmas is my ABSOLUTE favorite holiday. The Christmas cheer. The feels. The festivities. The baked goods. Spending time with the family. Ugh, I love everything about it. With that being said, here is my Christmas playlist. I'm sure there's way more but here are the ones that come to mind.
Underneath the Tree By: Kelly Clarkson
All I Want for Christmas is You By: Mariah Carey
Baby it's Cold Outside By: Margaret Whiting and Johnny Mercer
Santa Tell Me By: Ariana Grande
Last Christmas By: Ariana Grande
Christmas Time By: Backstreet Boys
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas By: Michael Buble
My Only Wish This Year By: Britney Spears
Jingle Bell Rock By: Bobby Helms
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Gratitude List
Here is a list of things that I am currently grateful for:
♡ The people who continue to bring sunshine into my life and lift me higher
♡ My furbaby Bruno
♡ For new adventures and opportunities
♡ Shelter, Food, and the Clothing on my back
♡ Mother Nature
♡ Art and Music. The ability to share and blossom my creativity.
♡ My mind and my body
♡ Living another day
♡ Education
♡ Ability to read and expand my knowledge
♡ The little things
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